Play - Acting
There’s no business like show business
and us women are good at showing off
our pretty little hot tongues, play-acting pleasure
on the regular. Heavy sighs are easier
than saying No, that didn’t actually get me off.
This may seem indecent, but I have to know
Donna Reed, did you climax regularly
with any of your husbands on or off screen
or were such cleansings a seasonal thing
like cleaning the rain gutters, something written
on the calendar which required
a certain mood, a certain kind of weather?
When I was a little girl I used to look
at the older girls and think
Once I have sex I will be more
embodied, too, as if connecting with another body
might help me learn my own. But my young
sex didn’t help because sex back then didn’t really
mean pleasure. It wasn’t until I loved
without play-acting that I began to know
myself, to grow inside my own body.
Sometimes I come and feel blue
this heavy indigo pooling at my root
that wraps around my shoulders too, as though
my lover and I were in a cocoon—spun by me
but also of our own making. Donna did you ever
know such a warm, warm blue?